Welcome...
to the 22nd Annual Feline Pageant

The most anticipated event by cats and humans alike...

After assessing the finest cats...

Introducing the contestants...



Fred

Fred at Home
  • Breed: Deranged Ginger
  • Hobbies: Eating, Sleeping, Crushing His Owner
  • Favorite Food: Tuna Om Nom Nom Nom Nom
  • Current Worry: His brother George is getting showered with attention
Hear what his owner has to say about him!

Our Fred is the most adorable cat. It's mildly concerning that we are bankrupt from buying his snacks and tuna, but we love him! It's fine. We're fine. Everything's fine.

Fred Wreaking Havoc Upon His Owner's Carpet
Fred Relaxing
Here's what Fred has to say:

Hello I was promised 100 cans of tuna if I win this thingie. Vote for me or you will find me in your pantry at 3 a.m. and I will ravage it.
This is a threat.



Prince Hairy

  • Breed: Royal Pain in the Meowrse
  • Hobbies: Drinking Tea, Having Tea, Bullying Other Cats
  • Favorite Food: Tea, what else
  • Current Concern: Some believe monarchy should be abolished
His Royal Meowjesty Prince Hairy
The Meowjesty Posing
Hear what his butler has to say about him!

The Royal Meowjesty loves photoshoots... And can be quite a lot sometimes...
I must admit, however, that his fur is very fluffy. I swear this is a mutualistic relationship.
Don't arrest me?

Here is a statement from Prince Hairy:

Good day, my fellow citizens. That includes you, human reading this.
I have been the Royal Cat since my birth, and the heavens have mandated that I win this pageant. Therefore I must win it. These other cats have got nothing compared to me. They do not have my royal status, my gorgeous appearance, or my fluffy fur.
More importantly, they do not have the Bank of England at their back. For your vote, I will be willing to pay heavy sums.
Please email my butler at princehairybutler@gmail.com for the check.
But you shall be grateful you were ever even graced by my presence! My light! My beauty! The image of my adorable face!
I will have your eternal gratitude.

Obviously the Meowjesty and Not His Older Brother Who is the Heir to the Throne


Draco

Aww Look He's Sleeping
  • Breed: British Brat
  • Hobbies: Crying Self to Sleep, Plotting Against a Certain Chosen One, Wandering the Streets at Night
  • Favorite Food: The Tears of His Enemies
  • Current Concern: His Son is Besties with His Enemy's Son
  • Least Favorite Spell: Sectumsempra
An antisocial cutie! See him interact with other cats.

Ok maybe that's not so good.

Hear what his owner has to say about him!

He verbally and physically abuses me.
But he'll come up and ask for hugs and pats afterward.
He's cute. I can change him.

The Pageant isn't very sure about that but we are not here to judge.

Draco Plotting Against His Enemies

A Statement from Draco:

If I do not win even this meager and meaningless competition created by mere muggles, that just proves how truly inferior muggles are.
They simply have no taste!
Prove me wrong.
Please.



Gary

Unfortunately, the Pageant was unable to get into contact with neither Gary nor Gary's owner,
and had to resort to using an internet image of Gary.
Here is what we do know.

  • Breed: Country Rocker
  • Hobbies: Crowd Surfing, Living on the Edge
  • Favorite Food: CatNipXtreme

Update: the Pageant has been notified that Gary and Gary's owner have been arrested for possession of copious amounts of catnip.
Due to previous contracts, Gary will not be removed from the Pageant, and voters may still vote for Gary.


Honorary Mention:

Cat Leaping for Fish

Cat Leaping for Fish did not make the final cut, but feel free to vote for them!
This is a democratic pageant.

Now it is time to vote!

Check back for the results on 03/15/2022!
Hopefully people have voted by then.
Exercise your citizenship rights!

This Pageant was brought to you by my interest in cats and my incessant laptop fan which will not stop whirring oh my go